The Doctors' Birthdays
by inspibrain101
Summary: Features my OC, Blurr, but will not reference his home category much. We all know the Doctor is over 1000 years old, and occasionally crosses dimensions. Blurr does that, too. When that happens, and it happens to be the Doctor(s)'s birthday, it's Blurr and his/her/its friends who take it upon themselves to organize the festivities. Features all doctors. Oneshots!
1. First Encounters

**Honestly, I just couldn't resist. This is going to be more of a drabble thing, going from Docs 1-11. Yes, I know that the 12th is making his debut this November, and I can't wait to see him (because I hate Matt Smith's guts, long live Tennant, etc.) But we'll just continue on pretending that 11th is the current incarnation. Which he won't be by the time we get to the 11th chapter.**

**So where was I... oh, yes! Drabbles. This is purely humor, not canon. Alongside the doctor will be one of my personal OC's, the Blurr. Those of you in the DW fandom will likely be unfamiliar with the Blurr.**

**Blurr currently resides in a few stories of his/her/its own in Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes (cartoon.) Feel free to look him/her/it up. Blurr will star with the doctor along with his/her/its own faithful companions, Robert and Milton. I'm not really going to explain them, you have to read my other story(s). **

**Basically, The Blurr trio (Yah, I need to come up with a better name) hop skip and jump to various worlds and dimensions, much like the doctor. Occasionally, they land in the DW universe, or vice-versa. They always have an uncanny knack for knowing when the doctor's birthday is. And, yes, Blurr can (sort of) see the future. You'll figure it out...**

**Enjoy the show!**

* * *

The Doctor and Susan had only been travelling in the stolen TARDIS for a few weeks, and they'd already formed an inseparable bond with it.

When a TARDIS likes someone, it forms a telepathic link with them. They are better able to understand each other, and some higher species can communicate with them. That was how they knew when she was crashing.

"Grandfather!" Susan screamed and clutched the old man as the spaceship shook, and finally stopped with a CRASH!

The Doctor and his granddaughter picked themselves off the ground, straightening their clothes and regaining their balance.

"My goodness, Grandfather, what was that awful shaking?" Susan quivered, afraid of what had just happened.

"I don't know, my dear." He shook his head and straightened his coat. "We ought to check the scanners, and hope we haven't landed somewhere dangerous... again."

The walked over to the scanner screen. Outside the TARDIS was a junkyard, a junky junkyard. The kind of junkyard that hobos use for their grocery shopping. The kind where animated beagles sing songs and form friendships. Not that they were in that kind of universe.

The doctor hmmd and tapped the screen. Susan read him aloud the readings on various scanners. Atmosphere, pressure, oxygen, life signs, etc.

"It seems, my dear," said the First Doctor, stroking his chin, "that we have landed on a little planet called Earth."

Susan cocked her head, thinking a moment. "Oh, yes! I learned about this place at the Academy. Humans live here, right?"

"Yes, and they look quite a bit like us."

"It should be easy to blend in, if the TARDIS is broken..." the girl looked sadly at the smoking machine.

"I'm afraid so, Susan." The doctor sighed at his new friend's state. "It may take her months to repair..."

He was interrupted by a bleep from the scanners. "What have we here?"

The screen showed movement around the junkyard. For a moment, a brown cloaked figure appeared next to a pile. Then it disappeared and reappeared next to another. Finally the thing materialized right in front of the TARDIS.

* * *

"RooooBERT!" Blurr hollered. It was safe to yell here, the authorities weren't this far across the pond... but he/she/it still kept its whisper-voice changer on, so it was just an unnaturally loud whisper.

The one eyed robot poked his oval head up from underneath a box. He held up a pink polka dot lampshade. "Would this work?"

Blurr smiled fondly at the tiny robot's innocence. Innocence that might not last much longer in this line of work...

"Depends, did Milton find something that would match?"

On cue, the green jaguar bounded down a pile with a white couch cushion between his jaws. "Mrrph?" he purred. "What about this?" he asked telepathically.

Blurr cocked his/her/its head as he thought about various statistics and probabilities. "guards on 22nd... robber next to the fire hydrant... 6 Asian cabbies at the sandwich shop... Ms. Julio had twins... 7 shapeshifting aliens trying to hack into the CIA..." Blurr finally nodded. "Perfect!"

Contentedly, he/she/it picked up a box of extra stuff he had found at the London junkyard and turned around, only to bump into the Blue police box, which seemingly materialized out of nowhere. "Mrrph! Da'arvitt..." Blurr clutched his nose, still speaking in the whispery voice.

Rob pointed at the Blurr. "Language!"

* * *

Susan nervously hid behind the console, as if to keep out of the strange party's line of sight. "I thought that humans lived on earth, Grandfather!"

Confused, the Doctor nodded. "They're supposed to... hold on..." he checked some more scanners. "Yes, this is Earth, the Milky Way Galaxy, October 2013. All humans!"

Susan pointed at the scanners. "But those CAN'T be humans!"

"You're absolutely right, my dear. That one looks vaguely like a Verdan from Ocelonia, while the other is a Class B Robot. I'm not so sure about our cloaked friend, here..."

The Blurr knocked on the door.

* * *

"It can't be!" Mil gasped telepathically.

Rob shook his head in disbelief. "It's not possible."

Blurr clutched his/her/its broken nose. "What's HE doing here?" He checked his invisible watch. "Huh. How about that. It's his birthday. Might as well pay him a visit..." Blurr knocked on the TARDIS door.

It opened to reveal a shocked looking old man and his nervous granddaughter.

Still holding his nose, Blurr asked, "Pick a number between 1 and Infinity."

The Doctor cocked an eyebrow, and hesitated. "1."

Blurr poked his head in the TARDIS, despite the Doctor's protests. "Desktop theme... Susan... The hair..." he/she/it mumbled. "Your story checks out."

The cloaked figure shook the aged man's hand vigorously. "You probably haven't met us yet, what with it being your first regeneration and all, so it is an honor to meet you! Well, first time for you, 26th... 27th? 992nd time for us, and yes I counted. This is Robert, that is Milton, and I am the Blurr. And might I be the first to say, Happy Birthday, you're in another dimension!"

The doctor just gaped.

Rob and Mil put on pointed paper party hats, and blew noisemakers while Blurr tossed the homemade confetti. Rob jumped up and placed party hats on the Doctor and Susan's heads. Mil flicked the doctor a cupcake with his tail, which he skillfully caught, and Blurr handed him a rectangular package, hastily wrapped in coffee-stained newspaper.

Susan gasped, finally realizing. "Grandfather, it's your birthday?"

"How..." He shook his head in disbelief. "How did you know? I don't even keep track of my birthdays anymore?"

"Oh, you know, the lines in your hand, that crack on the door, the formation of those ant colonies... plus, there's the fact that you gave me this calendar in your 12th regeneration to help keep track." Blurr held up a little flower day planner.

The Doctor blinked. "You're American? And, what do you mean, another dimension?"

Rob cocked his head. "What gave it away?"

Blurr grinned with his whispery voice. "The accent..."

Mil flicked his tail, ready to run. "Or the American Super-spy agency hunting us down?"

Overhead, the SHIELD heli-carrier flew over the junkyard.

Blurr winked. "Gotta run!" Blurr disappeared, reappeared several feet away, then disappeared all together. The robot and the jaguar moved just as fast, just without the disappearing and reappearing.

Exasperated, the Doctor shook his head. "He never answered the question."

The Doctor and his granddaughter walked back into the safety of the TARDIS. As if by some miracle, she had enough power to make another jump. Susan tapped one of the sensor screens. "Look at this, Grandfather!" She pointed at the reading. "We ARE in another Dimension!"

"Hmm, yes, so it seems..." he murmured thoughtfully. "It also seems that we are meant to come back here some day..."

He pulled the newspaper wrapped package out from the inside of his coat, and turned it over in his hands thoughtfully. He handed the cupcake to Susan, who nibbled it contentedly.

"I do wonder what this is..." he briskly tore off the old newspaper, clearly wrapped over the package in less than a minute. The box was TARDIS blue... or, at least, the TARDIS would be blue, so... Blue as a London Police Box from the 1950's. Curiously, the Doctor opened the box.

"Well, this is an odd toy." He held the item in his hands. "I have no idea what I would use this for."

Susan looked over her grandfather's shoulder. "What is it, grandfather?"

"Oh, it's just a primitive Earth instrument. I forget what it's called..."

"Instrument?"

He looked up. "Musical, my dear, not scientific."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I think it's called a recorder."

The First Doctor held the Wind instrument up to eye level and examined it. "Yes, a recorder, I believe so."

He walked down a few corridors and tossed the little instrument in a random closet, next to that dreadful fur coat those Frigids from Jetherma had given to him as a "gift." Dreadfully bulky thing, that coat. He walked away from it without a thought. What on earth would he want with a recorder? Honestly, some people gave out the strangest party favors...

* * *

The Second Doctor thoughtfully played a tune on the whiny wind instrument, thinking.

"Doooctor!" Jamie moaned. "Why do ye play that aawwful recorder?"

"Better yet, where did you even get such a thing?" Victoria huffed.

The Clownish Doctor looked up and raised his eyebrows. "You know, it just occurs to me... I think that cloaked Blurr fellow may have been psychic."

* * *

**Blurr's not psychic, just very clever. Who like it? Anyone? But you get the premise, write? Please review, it would satisfy me greatly!**

**I may or may not take requests.**


	2. Twelfth WHAT?

**Surprise, surprise! These drabbles are being done out of order. Today, we will be visiting (ugh!) the 11th doctor.**

**I make no attempt to hide my contempt.**

**Hee hee, I love rhymes!**

**I only do this because I so wanted to get this idea down, and in a month it will be irrelevant.**

* * *

"Why don't you ever get me something that I will actually use?" The eleventh moaned. He held a red and yellow wrapped present in his hands. Blurr, Milton, and Robert stood around him expectantly, party hats on and confetti askew.

Clara was out grocery shopping and wouldn't be back until later. Perfect time to strike a surprise party.

The Aftermath of the epic surprise involved several thrown punches, shed tears, and wet pants.

The greetings over and done with, it was time for the event that Blurr and his/her/its two companions looked forward to every other day: The Doctor's Present time.

"What do you mean? You use all the stuff we get you!" Blurr said innocently.

The Doctor snorted. "All during my 9th regeneration, you got me nothing but converse shoes. 3rd generation, it was horrid scarves, and last regeneration you got me enough bowties to last- well, a regeneration."

"So, you used them." Blurr conceded.

"Thus, we are relevant!" Mil smirked and swished his tail.

The Doctor finally rolled his eyes and opened the box, muttering in Gallifreyan about what exactly he wanted to do stick his screwdriver. Finally looking up, he smiled admittingly. "I actually sort of look forward to this get-together. I know everyone hates spoiler, but we just can't resist them, eh?" He lifted an article of clothing out of the box. He shifted it in his hands, trying to identify it. When he did, his face went pasty white, then strawberry red, then white again. The fabric dropped to the ground with a thump, and he looked like he was going to faint.

The 11th doctor ran screaming out of the TARDIS, just as Clara was walking in. She looked out the door in wonder at the seemingly possessed man.

"What's gotten into him?" she asked.

Blurr shrugged. "I dunno. He gets like this around his birthday."

Clara gasped. "It's his birthday?! Oh my- I had no idea!" Rob blew his noisemaker to emphasize the point.

Clara noticed the lump of fabric on the ground. She picked it up and admired it. "This is a lovely dress!" she said.

At that point, the three dimension jumpers burst into laughter, clutching their sides and rolling around the TARDIS. Tardy seemed to laugh along with them.

"Should we tell him?"

"Nah, let him stew. Break it to him slowly... like, maybe after he regenerates!" The laughed some more.

* * *

**I hope everyone gets the implication. We all, of course, know that the next doctor is NOT a girl, but I could not resist the prank!**

**Personally, I hate femdoctor stories, it just ruins it for me.**

**Until next time, Hasta Luego! (I'm taking Spanish!)**


	3. Casual Surprises

**Back to classic... somewhere in the 1st doctor's future...**

**I would just like to point out to the British Who-lovers that I am American, and am not familiar with most British terms. I can get "chips," and "biscuits," but I'm not fluent. So please, no flames!**

* * *

The Doctor was resting in the infirmary, recovering from a particularly nasty head wound after a run in with some rather impolite lizard people. Susan insisted on nursing the aged man, while Barbara took a nap, and Ian watched over the main console. He had promised to alert the Doctor immediately if anything unusual happened.

It was rather boring in the TARDIS, without the Doctor to interrupt his every other sentence, Ian had to admit that. Despite his bluntness, the Doctor had a sort of friendly charm, that absent, left the room feeling rather dull.

He took to reading novels for an hour or so, then was finally fed up with Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain. Chesterton knew that he should enjoy the quiet while it lasted, (which was never long with the Doctor around,) but he was praying for something remotely interesting to happen...

Then the Blurr walked in.

He just opened the doors, and walked in, a cardboard box in his/her/its arms, Mil and Rob following closely behind the cloaked figure.

"But honestly, if he wanted to know where you could find a bit of fruit, you'd think he'd just ask the nice man!" Blurr was in some sort of heated conversation, and ignored the flabbergasted look on Ian's face at the strange scene.

"I agree, I simply do not understand humans and their paranoia."

"Although, Planet Midnight, that right there is the real bloodfest." Blurr shuddered.

"Think we should pay the tenth a visit then?" Milton asked.

Ian was shocked to realized he had heard the green jaguar in his head. Telepathy!

Rob checked the pink, flowery day planner. "It says here that we visit two week after that."

Blurr dropped the box and clapped his hands. "Wonderful! I always liked Donna..."

At that point, he glanced up and took notice of Ian Chesterton, gaping and blinking at the uninvited visitors.

Robert squeaked and hid behind Blurr's cloak. "EEp! Human!"

Blurr reached back and patted the robot's head. "There, there, young Robert. It's just Ian. You remember Ian, don't you? Please close your mouth, you'll catch flies."

Ian shut his mouth and grew angry, ready to fight if it came to it. "Who are you?" he pointed at them and shook it threateningly. "What are you doing on the TARDIS?"

Milton cocked his head confusedly. "We've met before, haven't we? Don't you remember?"

Blurr held up a hand, and looked around the TARDIS thoughtfully. "Hmm... 6th century pillars... 3 mayflies under flux capacitor... no scratch on the far wall... Oh! I'd say that you've been travelling with the Doctor and his granddaughter for... a month?"

Ian blinked. "Perhaps. But who are you, and what are you doing here?"

Blurr jumped up and walked up to him, shaking his hand. "So this is our first time meeting, eh? Well, it's a pleasure, Ian Chesterton, a pleasure! This green jaguar of awesomeness is known as Milton, the small Elmic-35 model robot likes to be called Robert, and I am the Blurr." He/she/it made a sweeping bow.

Chesterton frowned. "You're American?"

Blurr sighed and crossed his/her/its arms. "Why does everyone say that?"

"Are you going to help with this, or what?" Ian looked up in surprise at the nimble robot, who had escaped his notice crawling up on the TARDIS ceiling, taping up Blue and White streamers. When he looked down again, the Blurr was blowing balloons, and the jaguar, Milton, was setting up a table, tablecloth, and chairs.

"What on earth are you doing?" Ian stood under the robot, and tried to shoo him down. Rob just looked at him curiously. "Didn't the doctor tell you?"

Ian stopped. "Tell me what?"

"Hide! He's coming!" Milton chuckled telepathically. Ian turned around to a completely decorated TARDIS, blue and white balloons and streamers, and a Purple gift box and white cupcake sitting on the table. Blurr, Milton, and Robert hid behind the TARDIS console rather unconvincingly. Blurr dragged Ian over to join them, where he slapped a pointy red party hat on his head.

Blurr knocked on the TARDIS pillar. "Tardy? Do you mind?"

The room went dim.

The old doctor, moaning and clutching his head, walked into the control room. "What is wrong with these infernal lights?" he muttered, stumbling around the room.

The lights flew on and Milton tossed confetti with his tail.

"SURPRISE!" Ian just stood around, confused, party hat askew.

"Doctor, what on earth is going on? This is, by far..."

The Doctor just groaned and shook his head, resigned. "Every time, they find me. Every year."

Ian looked between the strange trio and even stranger Time Lord. "What? Who are they, what are they doing here?"

The First Doctor chuckled and straightened his jacket. "Well, don't you know, my boy?"

The Tiny Robot hugged the doctor's leg. "Happy Birthday, Doctor!"

He smiled and reached down to pat his head. "It's wonderful to see you again, my friends!"

Ian was absolutely confused. "It's your birthday, Doctor! But why didn't you tell us?"

"Tell us what?" Susan walked into the room. She saw their visitors and gasped in delight. "Oh, Grandfather! It's your birthday again!" She ran and hugged the Blurr and Milton before they could protest.

"Nice to see you, too, Susan." Blurr choked out from her death grip.

The Doctor leaned back and laughed. "I'm afraid, Chesterfield,"

"ChesterTON!"

"Chesterfield," he conceded, "that I keep forgetting my birthday. All this time travelling, I can never keep track of what day it is! Blurr and his- er, her... its? Friends are sort of my calendar."

Blurr raised his/her/its eyebrows and crossed his arms. "Gee, was that a compliment?" he said indignantly.

Ian rubbed his brow. "So, just how old are you, Doctor?"

The Time Lord tapped his chin. "Today, I believe I am..."

"147." Blurr raised a gloved hand.

The Doctor nodded and smiled.

Ian grinned and pumped his hand up and down. "Well congratulations, old chap! 147, what an age!"

"Oh yes, I must say!"

Blurr checked the imaginary watch on his wrist, even though he knew exactly what time it was. "Oh, my! Look at the time! I'm afraid we have to go!"

They started heading for the doors.

Ian walked after them. "But must you go so soon?"

Blurr smirked and waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, you know. Things to do, people to see, jerks to stick in a max security prison... mostly giant crows... and four lizards." Awkward silence. "Well, bye! Happy Birthday, Doc!"

The cloaked character snapped his/her/its fingers, and he, the jaguar, and the robot disappeared.

Ian looked around. "Where did they go?"

The Doctor rubbed his head, which had begun to ache again. "I have no idea, my friend. No idea."

He just shook his head. "You do keep the strangest friends, Doctor."

"I know, I know."

The Doctor sat down at the table to the small present. "Ah, so they actually wrapped it this time. I do wonder what useless item they got me this year." he chuckled.

He lifted the lid off of the box and raised an eyebrow. He clucked his tongue. "Oh, that Blurr. It confounds me, what goes through his- her- its head."

He held up a pair of large trousers and laughed. "Look at these!"

Susan covered her mouth and laughed. "Oh, Grandfather! Those are much to big for you!"

Ian guffawed at the oversized pair of pants. "Doctor, those are humongous! Positively clownish!"

Now Barbara walked into the control room, yawning from her nap. Her eyes widened as she saw the blue and white decorations. "Ian, Doctor, Susan! What on earth is going on here?"

Ian placed an arm around her. "Well, Barbara, I suppose it's a long story... but to start, it's the Doctor's birthday!"

* * *

**Clown pants, gotta love the clowny pants.**

**Any other suggestions? I promise you, I will be including:**

**3rd doctor's... I haven't done my research yet**

**4th doctor's scarf and hat**

**5th doctor's celery and glasses**

**6th doctor's coat**

**7th doctor's umbrella**

**8th doctor's... I haven't done my research yet**

**9th doctor's leather jacket**

**10th doctor's sneakers and glasses**

**11th doctor's bowties, fez, and stetson**

**12th doctor's... well, I guess we'll find out.**

**Until next drabble!**


	4. Sports Drink Slipups

**So, I really want to know... do you guys prefer the classic doctors, or the new doctors? 'Cause I'm going to include all of them at some point, but I would like to know which ones you want to see right now.**

**At any rate, since I've already done the 1st doctor twice and I haven't really gotten to the 2nd doctor yet, I'm just going to play around with the new doctors right now. **

**Please be patient! :D**

* * *

Martha woke up with a pounding in her head. She sat up and tried to get her bearings. She was in the TARDIS, she knew that. It was still the same lit up, corally Time and Space machine, but something was wrong... The Doctor! Where was the Doctor?

She clutched her aching head, trying to remember what happened. They were in the TARDIS, on their way to visit... was it Ancient Greece? Or Ancient Gren-Delta 6? It was something ancient. She remembered the Doctor being surprised at something... someone. They had landed, and run into three strange people... a cloaked one, a green cat? She gasped as she realized that the third strange character was the tiny robot sitting next to her, patting a wet washcloth on her aching head.

She stood up quickly and started to back away from the white, one-eyed robot.

"Oh, you're awake!" he said pleasantly in a monotone voice.

She hesitated. "Who are you? And where's the doctor?" she tried to sound tough.

* * *

_Earlier that same... day? How does time pass in a TARDIS?_

Blurr often had to juggle 5 different things in his/her/its head at once, so it was easy for him to dodge bullets, rewire a security system, navigate a canyon, and calculate the velocity of a jump off a cliff at the same time.

That's how they got out of the "trap" in Devil's canyon.

The one thing he forgot to juggle was the date of the Doctor's arrival.

It was all in that pink, flowery day planner that the 12th doctor had given them when they met the doctor for the first time. He assured them that all the dates were correct, and that they would have plenty of fun times and fond memories. He also suggested that they get... creative with their presents.

Fortunately, Robert, the youngest of the trio, was starting to learn to get his dates straight, and actually remembered to get a present for the doctor.

They had a simple test for determining where in his timeline the doctor was.

Simply ask him for a number between 1 and infinity.

So every time they heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS brakes being left on, they showed up for the party.

Because for some reason, they always jumped the dimensional boundaries on his birthday.

Their day so far: breakfast, stopped a few muggings, blew up the Devil's Canyon base, pit stop at an abandoned 7/11. Time for lunch!

They should've been surprised to see the little blue box in the sports drinks aisle, but they weren't. When you've escaped from a haunted house with the help of an accordion playing goat, nothing surprises you anymore.

Blurr rolled his/her/its eyes and knocked on the blue door.

"Pick a number between 1 and infinity!" he called.

Silence on the other side. "10."

The spiky haired doctor poked his head out, disappointed to find that he had crossed dimensions. He had really hoped to get out of this year's celebration.

"Doctor, who is it?" Martha called behind him.

The Doctor froze when he saw the three old "friends."

"Nothing, Martha. Just... stay in the TARDIS." He stepped out and closed the doors, raising his hands in surrender.

"Thought you could get out of this, eh?" Blurr smirked. "You can run, but you can't hide."

The Doctor scowled. "Fine, just... make it quick, eh? Allons-y."

"Doctor, who is this?" Martha stood in the TARDIS door frame.

The tenth doctor tensed. "Just... old friends."

Martha's eyes widened at the formidable looking foes. She shook her finger at them menacingly. "I'm warning you- whoever you are- leave the doctor alone, or..."

"Or what?" The Blurr grinned. Cute, trying to act tough.

She startled at the whispery voice.

"Martha, just get back in the TARDIS. It's going to be all right."

"Doctor, you say that every time. And now we finally have you- without even a fight." Blurr loved making people think he/she/it was the enemy. The look on their faces...

Martha gasped and covered her mouth. "Doctor, I won't let them take you!" she stepped forward to try to fight them off, slipped in a puddle of sports drink, and hit her head. Knockout!

All four conscious beings winced at the woman's misfortune.

Rob groaned. "Does that mean I'm on cleanup duty again?"

They nodded. He shuffled into the TARDIS, dragging an unconscious Martha behind him. Which brings us to 2 or 3 hours later.

* * *

_2 or 3 hours later..._

She grabbed a metal pipe that happened to be lying around and turned it on the little robot. "I don't know what you are, or where you come from, but you are going to bring the doctor back right now, and leave! You got that?"

"Robert."

She nearly dropped the pipe, out of a combination of shock and the pain in her head. "I'm sorry?"

"My name is Robert. I am a model R7T from Dimension GB654. Planet Earth, Designation City Elmore. I currently live in Dimension AE334MH, under a worker's agreement with the Infinitum Police Bureau."

She blinked. "Um... okay then. But... where's the doctor?"

At this point, the TARDIS doors swung open, and the Blurr and Milton walked cheerfully in, a grim doctor ahead of them, a comical pink party hat askew on his head.

Martha ran up to the Doctor and hugged him, relieved. "Doctor, where were you? Who are these people?"

Blurr turned her around and shook her hand vigorously. "I am the Blurr, ma'am. This is Milton, and you've already met Rob here." He/she/it nodded to his companions.

She stumbled back from the cloaked character. "What's... what's with the voice?" she referred to his whispery voice.

"It's just a voice changer, protects my identity and whatnot."

She nodded as if he said he had a bad cold. "And... what are you doing here?"

Milton tapped her with his tail. "Didn't the Doctor tell you?"

Rob chuckled. "Oh, Mil, we should know by now that the Doctor never tells anyone about these things!"

Martha, still reeling from the strangeness of the Doctor's apparent friends, turned to the Time Lord and looked at him questioningly.

He took off his party hat and ran a hand through his crazy hair. "No point in dodging it now... It's my birthday." he winced as the threesome blew noisemakers and threw confetti, an ordeal he had to deal with for the past hour.

Martha's mouth hung open. "But... why didn't you tell me?"

He stood up and glared at the Blurr. "Because every time I have birthday, these lot show up!"

Blurr grinned, undeterred. "And we have lots of fun."

He smiled back. "Yeah, I guess we do."

Milton nudged Martha's ankle. "You took a bit of a fall back there, hit your head. Sorry about that."

She just stared at the jaguar. "you... You can talk?"

Blurr waved a hand dismissively. "Naw, it just seems it. It's more telepathic than anything else."

She nodded as if it made sense.

"Welp, see you next year!" The Blurr, the Robot, and the Jaguar filed out, leaving the two time travelers on their own.

Martha turned around, still not comprehending the whole situation. "So... where did you go?"

The Doctor sighed tiredly. He had bags under his eyes. "A word of advice, Martha. Don't ever get involved with Cyborg crime rings. It's a pain in the circuits."

He pulled out a brown paper-wrapped package from his infinite coat pocket, and started turning it over in his hands.

"Oh, they got you a present." She said, interested.

"Every other year or so, they show up, or I run into them, and they drag me off to celebrate. 900 years, Birthdays are not fun. Especially when it comes to the present time." he looked at the package nervously.

"Why?" Martha asked. "It can't be that bad? They're not joke gifts, are they?"

"Well, sort of. Before this regeneration, they got me enough sneakers to last... well, a regeneration. Before that, a leather jacket, and a lot of hairbrushes." He smiled. "Well, I suppose that last one was a bit of a joke. I just hope..." he shuddered, and immediately opened the package. "Just quick, like a bandaid." he muttered.

He pulled out a fez. He looked at it distastefully, and then shrugged. "Oh well, it's not the worst thing they could get me. I'm just paranoid that I'll open one of these up one day, and there'll be a dress..." He shuddered again.

He jumped up and ran to the TARDIS console. "Well, then, Martha. Where were we? Ancient Gren-Delta 6, how about it! Allons-y!"

They took off for the stars.

* * *

**Be honest. Do you like it, or am I just being a fool with words?**


	5. Interference

**The Third Doctor: While working at UNIT one day, the Brigadier receives a very strange request from the rather odd Doctor...**

* * *

"Brigadier, old chap!" The Third Doctor called as he followed him down the hallway. The Brigadier turned around and smiled.

"Well, good morning, Doctor. And how are you this fine day?"

"Oh, very well and all... but, there's something I need to ask of you."

"Yes, yes, go on."

The Doctor hesitated. "You'd think the request rather odd... but, you see, I'm expecting some... visitors today. And I do not want you under any circumstances to let them into the facilities. I am going to lock myself in that little basement lab that no one uses, and I'm going to stay there all day."

Brigadier gaped. "Doctor, is something wrong?"

The elderly doctor laughed and waved a hand dismissively. "If you hear any strange sounds coming from that lab, just ignore them. Don't interfere. There will be nothing to worry about tomorrow morning."

Nervously, the Doctor left to carry out his own devices.

What was this new threat, the Brigadier wondered. Something was frightening the Doctor, and he intended to find out what.

His precautions included doubled security, an EMP fence, and a small squad guarding the Doctor's little hide-away. Of course, he didn't let the Doctor find out. The stubborn old man, he'd insist that there was nothing to worry about. In fact, those were his parting words as his face paled and demeanor shook as he locked himself in the empty room.

"And remember, don't make a fuss. If anything strange happens, don't interfere. But don't let in any strangers under any circumstances!"

What was the Doctor so afraid of? What was this new threat?

He saw the dull light streaming from under the doorway, casting the shadow of the Doctor against the door. He seemed fine.

Brigadier turned to the Sergeant next to him. "Anything else to report?" he muttered.

The Sergeant shook his head.

Two hours passed.

Still nothing.

The Doctor had barely moved from his spot.

Then something happened.

"Sir!" A young private ran up to the commanding officer, and saluted.

"What is it?" Brigadier straightened up, having relaxed his posture.

"The front gate reported some... strange sounds."

"From where, exactly?"

The Private hesitated. "The ventilation shafts."

**BANG CLANG BANG CLANG**

The sound echoed through the ventilation shafts, across the ceiling.

The young soldier jumped and pointed at the ceiling. "That's the sound, sir! That's it!"

Brigadier reached for his gun. Whatever was making this strange sound was heading straight for the Doctor. There was no time to lose.

He knocked rapidly on the door behind him. "Doctor? Are you alright?"

He heard a shuffling behind the door. "Yes, Brigadier. Everything... is... fine." He sounded strained.

3 more shadows appeared behind the door next to the Doctor. The new shadows each lifted a cylinder. They were attacking the Doctor! The lights in the lab went out, and the Brigadier couldn't see anymore.

Furiously, the Brigadier started to push against the door, slamming his shoulder against it with all his might. The men around him had their weapons ready.

The Door finally gave way, and Brigadier signaled for two of his men to follow him in. The outside light streaming through the collapsed door revealed the Doctor, tied to a chair and covered in pink and green gunk.

"Doctor!" Brigadier cried. He heard a clatter to the left. They aimed their guns at whatever was making the noise.

"Who are you, and what do you want with the Doctor?" growled the Brigadier.

An indistinguishable person in a beige cloak and mask stepped into the dim light. "Didn't he tell you?" he quipped in a whispery voice.

"He never does." Brigadier whirled around to see a fluorescent green jaguar sitting atop some cabinets.

The Doctor sighed. "It's all right, Brigadier."

Brigadier hesitantly lowered his weapon about 15 degrees. "Doctor," he said carefully. "What have these... people," he spat the word, "done to you?"

The Blurr sighed and nodded to Rob, who was stationed at the light switch. He flipped it on, and the Brigadier blinked in surprise.

Now, the soldiers could see banners, birthday decorations, a piñata, a suspicious looking green cupcake on a lab table, and a red present bag. Brigadier dropped his gun completely.

"Doctor, what is this-"

Milton blew a noisemaker, Blurr started an Ipod, and Rob threw confetti everywhere. "Happy Birthday!" they shouted.

"It's your birthday?!" Brigadier gaped. The Doctor stood up, still tied to the chair, and covered in silly string.

The Doctor groaned. "Yes, and every year, these nitwits show up and insist on celebrating!"

Blurr crossed his/her/its arms in mock offense.

The Third Doctor grinned. "And they make a wonderful time of it!"

* * *

It turned out that there was nothing in the piñata, the cupcake was actually made of leftover mold samples due to lack of time, and the Doctor's idea of a good time involved high-risk trivia and lab explosions.

The Brigadier was about ready to toss the intruders in a holding cell when Milton announced Present Time.

Blurr nodded eagerly, almost childishly, for such a somber-seeming character.

Doctor rubbed his face tiredly. "This is the part." he muttered to the Brigadier.

Brigadier looked at him questioningly.

Rob extended his legs to reach the table and tossed him the gift bag.

Resigned, the doctor reached into the bag, and pulled out...

* * *

"You know, you're right. They do give rubbish gifts." The Brigadier chuckled at the Doctor's strange present.

He furrowed his brow. "Well, I might not like it, but apparently I will."

What was that supposed to mean?

"Are you talking about that... regeneration?" The Brigadier raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes, yes. The Blurr has this odd habit of giving away some bits of my future. A few years before I last regenerated, he got me that opera cloak."

"But what on earth could you have to do with THAT?" The Brigadier pointed at the Doctor's gift.

"I don't know. I simply do not know." The Doctor set down the brightly colored yarn and knitting needles, and returned to his experiments.


	6. Rather Unbecoming

**Who else is TOTALLY PSYCHED for the DW 50th anniversary special?! I am, me me me!**

* * *

The war doctor had just regenerated into the big-eared 9th. He hadn't even had time to look in a mirror to see what he looked like now. Everything was blurry, hazy, and for a moment he was worried that he'd inherited the amnesia of the last doctor- not the war one. The real doctor.

Then everything came into focus, and he realized that ignorance truly is bliss.

* * *

Rob was holding the rope, lowering Blurr down the manhole as he looked for the jar he/she/it had dropped while taxi cra- driving. Blurr insisted, because it was his/her/it's responsibility, and Blurr was, surprisingly, the lighter of the two.

Milton was at a family reunion for Thanksgiving.

"Almost..." Blurr called up as he reached for the jar, which glowed a suspicious radioactive-green hue. "Almost got it-"

_Vworp... vworp... vworp..._

Rob was bumped from behind by something that had appeared out of nowhere, falling into the manhole. Fortunately, he had a soft landing, fortunately, he landed on something that he would regret landing on.

"Rob..." Blurr said in a dangerously soft tone.

"It wasn't me!"

"Grrrrr..."

"It wasn't that bad!" Rob moaned. For a robot with a monotone voice, he showed a great deal of expression.

"Rob?"

"Yes?"

"That wasn't me."

"EEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!"

Rob and Blurr bounded down the sewer to escape the Lizard. That's Lizard with a capital 'L.'

* * *

"So... what's with the box?"

The newly regenerated 9th doctor looked up in surprised at the strange person crouching on top of the tree. He was dressed in a red and blue skintight suit, with- were those web designs? He sounded like a teenager.

"I mean, it appears out of nowhere, gotta be alien, right?" The spider guy cocked his head mischievously.

The Doctor blinked. "Have I crossed dimensions again?"

The spider-guy flipped off the tree and landed 3 feet in front of him. "So... I'm guessing that's a yes."

The doctor waved a hand, irritated. "Yes, yes. I'm an alien. I come in peace and such. But what dimension is this?"

Spiderman was just as confused as the Doctor. "Umm... define dimension."

"_AE564MH" _someone moaned from a bush.

The two turned to the bush. Blurr and Rob, each covered in sewer gunk popped out. The green undergrowth was added to the mess.

Spidey brought up his web shooters. "Wait a moment. You're the one on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Most Wanted list, aren't you?"

Blurr sighed and his/her/its eyes flashed dangerously. "Yes. Now beat it, Spider Monkey."

Spiderman huffed and web-slung himself away.

"So, what are you up to nowadays?" The Doctor asked casually.

"Oh, this and that." he/she/it whispered. "Found my jar." he held up a jar that glowed suspiciously. "Got chased by the Lizard. MIGHT I ADD, THAT'S YOUR JOB, SPIDEY!" he yelled into the distance. When Blurr yelled, it was still a whisper, just greater in volume. He walked behind the TARDIS to replace the manhole cover over the hole.

"And you?"

"Oh, same. But no jars or lizards to speak of." 9 chuckled, but doubled over in pain as golden energy flowed from his mouth.

Rob's eye widened. "You've regenerated recently. And you are number nine."

Blurr was unsurprised. He had been waiting for Robert to notice. "I'm sorry, Doctor." He/she/it lowered his head reverently.

The Doctor's eyes darkened. "Don't waste your pity on me." He spun on his heel and walked into the TARDIS.

He could've sworn he'd closed the doors, but somehow the Blurr and the robot were already sitting on the console, solemn expressions on their normally jovial faces.

"Fantastic." he rolled his eyes. "So you're just going to stick around until I open your little birthday present, all tied up with strings?" he said bitterly. "Or is this some sort of psychological sit-down? 'Cause I'm not worth it."

And with that, Blurr slapped him across the face. The gobsmacked expression on the Doctor's face was worth a thousand battles against Galactus.

"What was that for?"

Blurr's face was stony. "I don't need to get you into some sort of therapy session to know what's running through that stupid head of yours. You'll get sympathy, you'll get condolences, and you will hate every minute of it. But this... this ridiculous self-pity? You stop it right now." He hit him hard in the chest for every sentence. "It is unbecoming of you, Doctor." There were oily smears on Rob's face.

"Now shut up, and open your little birthday present, all tied up with strings." Blurr said bitterly. He/she/it walked up to the TARDIS console and pressed a few buttons and levers.

"Until later, Doctor. Be well." Blurr and Rob walked out of the TARDIS.

As Rob left, he turned and said, "Just be glad Milton wasn't here. He would have your bald hide."

The doctor's hand unconsciously went to his new head. He was bald? Dang it, he had been holding out a bit of hope for a ginger body.

The moment the doors closed, the TARDIS started travelling to the coordinates Blurr and Robert had set. The 9th quickly checked the scanners. "Earth, London, 2005." His gaze wandered to the plain brown parcel they had left on a chair.

Finally, curiosity got the better of him, and he ripped open the package. It was a build-your-own-bomb kit. And somehow, he got the feeling that he would be needing it sooner than he thought...


	7. I Do Weddings, Too!

**Fun Fact: Blurr does weddings and regenerations, too!**

* * *

**Not that there's a wedding any time soon...**

* * *

The First Doctor was still getting used to these new youngsters aboard the TARDIS, Ben and Polly. Spry young things, them.

Ben and Polly were still getting used to the idea of living in a blue police call box that was bigger on the inside, that could travel through time and space. It was rather unsettling to be pulled out of your own time, off your planet, and tossed around time and space without any direction. They had already been aboard a pirate ship, and a few alien planets, and once a volcano, (they had sworn never to speak of that one ever again.)

So they really shouldn't have been surprised to find that the TARDIS also occasionally landed in different dimensions.

It started out easily enough; the TARDIS, whizzing through the Time Vortex, passengers and driver alike clinging for dear life as the ship shook and clinked and clanked and shattered and abstracted and bubbled and clunked and dropped and elevated, flew, grew, hopped, itched, jumped, krumbled, leaped, matched, nudged, opted out, pleased, quilt, reared, shrunk, teeter-tottered, unglued, veered, weighed, xylophone, yawned, and zebra. Business as usual.

But as the aged Doctor checked his settings, an amused smile grew on his face. "Well, it seems I've been here before. Hmm hmm!" he chuckled. "Well those youngsters are in for a surprise, heh heh heh!"

* * *

Blurr, Robert, and Milton were running for their lives, dodging arrows, rays, and glorified trashcan lids. Business as usual.

Ducking, dodging, weaving, and the rest of the alphabet-ing.

Currently, they had taken refuge inside a sizable trash bin. They didn't hear the sound of the TARDIS engines materializing over their heavy panting.

"See, Mil. I told you that Harkienn Greetings are NOTHING LIKE EARTH GREETINGS!" Blurr yelled as softly as he could.

"Well, excuse me if these people have no sense of manners."

"Wait, wait." Blurr sniffed strangely. "Do you smell that?"

"The Garbage?" Mil said dryly.

"I do not have the sense of smell." Rob mourned.

"It smells like Huon energy- and garbage, of course there's garbage."

* * *

Ben and Polly fell out of the smoking TARDIS onto asphalt. As they coughed for fresh air they were surprised by the ensemble of people in front of them.

In short, they wore strange, brightly colored costumes.

But this is a non-crossover fanfic, so we will not discuss them too much.

The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS calmly, cane in hand.

The strange costumed folk started asking them if they'd seen a fugitive in a brownish greyish beigish cloak, a short one-eyed robot, and a green jaguar.

Polly just stood there, gobsmacked, Ben was about to ask if they'd been hitting the happy juice, but the Doctor knew exactly who they were talking about.

"Fugitive, hmmm?" he said. "And um, what, may I ask is their crime?"

"It's... a long list."

The doctor nodded appreciatively as Blurr, a few meters behind the strange people, mimed a 'frame.'

"Might I suggest-" he started.

Blurr silently started miming out something complicated.

"go... going... to... aw-away? No, no!" he muttered.

"No, no, I see!" they had started to look over their shoulders.

"Oh, it was horrible, my dear fellows! That... annoying young... whippersnapper."

Blurr started pounding his head against a brick wall.

"Yes, the cloaked person, ran right past me! Disgraceful, I must say! Where? Oh, yes, of course, hmm. Let's see... That way, hmm?" He pointed off to a distant alley.

The strange costumed people thanked them and ran off accordingly.

"Well then, Blurr, you've better have a good explanation for this, hmm?" The Doctor glared at the cloaked character.

Ben and Polly gasped. "Now what's this about, these crazy blokes, and you? You're a fugitive! Doctor, who is this, where- when are we?"

Blurr, Rob and Mil snickered.

The Doctor chuckled. "well, Ben, it seems we've accidentally crossed dimensions. This is my old friend, Blurr. I'm told that we meet in each other's futures, get together for birthday parties, and whatnot." he waved his hand dismissively.

Polly cocked her head, confused. "Birthday parties, Doctor?"

Blurr sighed and leaned against the TARDIS. "It seems that I'm the only one who bothers to keep track."

To emphasize his/her/its point, he pulled out his pink, flowery planner and flipped to the date. "Hmm." he said thoughtfully. "It's not a birthday. Actually-" he squinted to read the tiny text. "Oh my."

He snapped the booklet closed, and started dragging the first doctor away.

"Oh, now where are we going?" The Doctor huffed. Blurr whisper-laughed. "Oh, Doctor! There are plenty of birthdays, but you don't get many regeneration days!"

The Doctor stopped in shock, and Blurr covered his/her/its mouth quickly. "You mean... it's time?"

"Did I say it's a regeneration day? Of course not! It's... 1825 since you first sto- er, borrowed the TARDIS!"

By this point, they were several blocks away, with Ben and Polly hot on their heels. Ben finally caught up with them, and he grabbed Blurr away from the Doctor. "What the heck do you think you're doing, dragging off with the Doctor?" He threatened the cloaked character.

Blurr sighed, then eeped when he/she/it realized that the Avengers were just across the street. He hid behind a potted plant.

* * *

Rob and Mil were guarding the TARDIS against any random shadow monsters, or stray lightning bolts or whatever may occur.

* * *

The Doctor was positively tickled with delight, little yellow party hat on his head, small cup of tea in front of him. Ben and Polly were not so amused.

"Who is this guy, Doctor?" Ben insisted.

The Doctor chuckled. "To be honest, I have no idea!"

Blurr entered the dusty, makeshift parlor- really more of a parking garage- with a deflated plate of goop that was supposed to be a cake. Blurr insisted that it would've been perfect, but there had been a few scratts hidden in the cupboards.

No one touched it.

"Next time, I'll get you a real cake, I promise!" Blurr patted the aged Time Lord on the back.

"So... been to Scotland lately?" Blurr tried to make small talk. Before the Doctor could open his mouth, Blurr continued. "Oh, of course not! That's not until after the tenth planet- how they come up with those episode names, I'll never know. Hey, anyone else see past that fourth wall?"

The Doctor yawned. "Oh dear." he muttered. Blurr looked up worriedly. "It's soon, isn't it?"

Blurr paused. "Well... look at the bright side! At least it's natural, none of this, four-knocks-silence-will-fall nonsense!"

"What?"

"Nothing."

* * *

"So, this Blurr... he knows you in the future?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I believe so, Polly." The Doctor wandered around the console, lost in thought.

"What was that talk about regeneration, and four knocks?" Ben was worried for the Doctor. Was something going to happen? Blurr did claim to know the future. Or something.

The Doctor laughed heartily. "Oh, my boy! Let me tell you, most of the ti- most of the time I just ignore half of the things he says." He pulled a box out from beneath the console.

"I mean, look at this! These are all from the Blurr's so-called 'birthday parties.' Rubbish, all of it!"

The First Doctor started going through the box. "Just look at it! A hankerchief- several handkerchiefs, of enormous size! A recorder! What use anyone has for a recorder is beyond this doddery old fool." He dug around some more. "Over sized pants... oversized clothes... a contrastingly tiny bowtie. And a bowl." The Doctor hmmd some more and rubbed his chin. "What could you do with a bowl? Mix something? Hold something?" He flipped the bowl upside down. "Oh, I know! Cut your hair, hee hee! A proper hobo's ensemble!"

* * *

Immediately after his first regeneration, the Second Doctor felt he needed some new clothes.

His first sight in his new body was the brown box under the TARDIS console. While Ben and Polly argued in hushed tones whether or not they could trust this new person, he pawed through the box's contents, suddenly seeing a whole world of uses for his birthday presents.

"Oh, my giddy aunt!" he chuckled. "That Blurr _is _psychic!"


	8. Wrong Room

**Warning! Warning! This chappie is officially rated:**

**K+ K+ K+ K+!**

**You have been warned.**

* * *

The interdimensional scoop dropped Blurr and the gang into the wrong alley, right across from the recently arrived seventh doctor and the, er, other gang. Emphasis on gang.

First things first: consult the pink planner (which Blurr had NOT picked out, thank you very much,) determine what today was, and who they would be dealing with.

Pages: flip, flip, flip.

Rob pointed at the date. "The air here seems to originate from the San Francisco area."

Blurr clapped the robot on the shoulder. "Excellent, young Robert! We might make a half-wit IPB agent of you yet!"

Mil scratched behind an ear with his paw. "Is that a compliment or an insult?" he said dryly.

A few alleys over, shots were heard.

* * *

Blurr panted as he/she/it ricocheted off of buildings and rooftops to keep up with the ambulance. Rob extended arms and legs per necessary to keep pace, while Mil simply ran with all his mutant-alien-jaguar thing speed.

They lost the ambulance after six blocks, mainly due to Blurr's broken leg and the flautist playing a fugue on the street corner, sending Rob into hysterics.

Rob's head started spinning wildly, eye going red, while Blurr's leg bent at a VERY unnatural angle.

Milton's jaws enclosed around the robot's head to keep him in place while Blurr made a temporary splint out of the terrified flautist's instrument, all the while muttering about misplaced banana peels on rooftops. (Who leaves banana peels on Flower Shop rooftops?)

"Rob," Mil growled around the squirming robot's head. "Think happy thoughts. Forget the fug- the thing that doesn't rhyme. Think happy thoughts. Cat, hat, bat, sat, mat. Dish, fish, wish. Dog, log, fog, jog, frog. Ink, Pink, sink..." Gradually, Robert calmed down.

Blurr turned to the musician, who was quivering behind a dumpster.

"Namaste." he bowed. "Me llamo Blurr. Se llamo Robert, Milton." He tried to speak in his most polite voice- or at least as polite as you could get in whisper. "Como estas?"

The flautist fainted.

Blurr turned to the green jaguar. "Should I have tried Gnommish?"

* * *

_San Fransisco Hospital: just a few moments too late to prevent a, er, death..._

Room 1A

Knock Knock

A Nurse opened the door to an empty hallway.

The kid with a broken arm moaned in the hospital bed.

"Surprise!" The strange threesome shouted. The boy gaped.

"It's not my birthday!" he said. "Are you some sort of clowns?"

Blurr, realizing the mistake, scowled, and marched out of the room. Milton and Robert slunk after him/her/it.

Room 2A

Down the vent shaft

"Surprise!" They tried again.

They were met with a family sobbing over a cancer-ridden grandmother.

Oops.

Room 3A

In through the window- or intruder window, if you'd like...

"Surpri-"

The woman in labor screamed at the top of her lungs and started yelling obscenities.

They fled.

Room 27G

"Hello?" Blurr cautiously stuck his/her/its head in.

Empty.

Room 19K

"This HAS to be it..."

"Bark Bark!" said the dog.

Blurr groaned and pulled his brick out of his satchel. He started banging his head against it.

Mil began to converse with the dog.

Rob scratched his head. "Blurr, I believe that this is the veterinary clinic. Are we even in the designated building?"

Room 8M

"Please be friendly please be friendly please be friendly..." Blurr silently pleaded in Gnommish.

They cracked open the door, and...

Storage closet.

"GARRRRR!"

Doctor's Lounge

Dr. Holloway leaned back in a big chair, exhausted, and crying. She had studied and worked for years to become a cardiologist, and now she had a patient die on her. Because... why? Had she been incompetent? Was he just too far gone? Would she be able to live this down?

They still hadn't identified the body. The strange man hadn't had any ID on him. He didn't seem to have anything to do with the gang he'd fallen victim to, just an innocent bystander. When they did identify him... did he have any family? A wife? Children?

And for all she knew, she'd killed him.

She was shaken out of her thoughts by a groan, a growl, a bleep from across the room.

A strange person in a brown cloak with a splint on his right leg, a green jaguar, and a one-eyed robot had each sunken into a chair. And they seemed just as exhausted as her- as if they'd just gone through heck.

(Which, by all accounts, they had. (Twice.))

"Who are you?" she demanded, still too tired to get up from the chair.

The threesome seemed surprised. The brown-cloaked one with a splint stood up awkwardly, and cocked his head. She was surprised at his whispery voice. "What's your name?"

She blinked. "Holloway- Dr. Grace Holloway."

Brown-cloak seemed to show some recognition. "Have you happened to have a gunshot victim in recently?"

Oh, dang. Why did they have to mention that? Wait. Maybe they knew something?

"Yes." She said carefully.

Brown-cloak seemed excited. "Short fellow, funny sweater, carries an umbrella? Found near a British Police Public Call Box?"

"Excuse me?"

One of the other surgeons across the room perked up. "One of the paramedics at the scene described him just like that, yeah!"

Blurr nearly fainted with relief. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you! Tell me..." Faster than it seemed humanly possible, Blurr was at Dr. Holloway's side.

"Dr. Holloway... Grace, is it? Would you tell me what room he might be in?" He thrust a wrinkled hospital map in front of her.

She glared at him. Was this some sort of sick joke?

Coldly, "He's dead. He died in the middle of the Heart Surgery."

Blurr paused, and blinked. "Oh, the half-pint idiot make a wrong turn in the TARDIS, gets himself shot, does he? Oh yeah, I'm not letting him live this one down." He/she/it started laughing merrily.

Grace just gaped at him. A man was dead, for crying out loud!

Rob piped up. "So, wouldn't he be in the morgue?"

Grace nearly screamed. The metal thing talked!

Blurr smacked his forehead with a resounding BAM! "Oh, of course! So, tell me, Dr. Holloway..."

He brought up the map again. "Where would this _ morgue _be located, exactly?"

Faintly, she pointed on the map.

Blurr saluted smartly, clicked his heels, and left. "Gracias!" Milton called.

* * *

He woke up, blanket around his body. Where was he? Who was he? What? He remembered something... Dying? A name? What?

Dazed and confused- and recently dead- he brought himself to the door of the morgue, clutching the blanket around himself.

He opened the door, to...

"SURPRI- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Properly surprised, the amnesiac Eighth Doctor had dropped his blanket. Blurr and the gang- the nice gang, that is- were quick to drop the cake and banner and shield their eyes.

* * *

**Hooray! This chapter was over 1,000 words! See you in a week, or in a few days, or something...**


	9. Lost Opportunities

**That is the only chapter I'm including Jerk-face Bo again. Ever. I dare not even mention his name.**

**And now, an appearance from the 12th doctor!**

**I get that Peter Capaldi hasn't made his debut yet... so just bear with me here!**

* * *

Immediately before, during, or after a well-written fanfiction about all 11 doctors joining forces to defeat the Daleks, the Cybermen, the Master, Rassilon, Borusa, The Black Guardian, or a combination of them...

Why I Didn't Show Up... sorry about that...

The 12th doctor was handcuffed to a bench, along with the Blurr, Rob the robot, Milton the definitely-not-an-alien green jaguar, a bear, and a drunken yodeler. The yodeler had hot pink suspenders and electric blue-and-green striped lederhosen.

Rob and Mil were clogging the telepathic frequencies with all of their arguing.

"WHY did you press the button! You NEVER EVER press the button!"

"It was shiny and red. Oh, don't you dare tell me that youwouldn't have done the same!"

"6 hours, Robert! That's how long the shampooing alone takes!"

"So this is my fault?"

"Noooo! The magical talking elf started it."

"I'm not sure if-"

"Yes, that was sarcasm!"

Blurr just banged his head against his brick, which he always seemed to carry around with him, muttering "Blasny blasny blasny blasny..." The drunken yodeler was yodeling drunkenly about yoyos and folding socks, and the bear was asleep.

Thank goodness for small favors.

Him? He was tired.

He didn't really remember how he'd gotten arrested, or why the Cardiff police had bothered arresting a grizzly bear...

Honestly? He didn't really want to remember.

He remembered how it started. It started, like most bizarre misadventures, with the TARDIS. Unlike most bizarre misadventures, it started with an email.

* * *

"I have email?" he wondered aloud. He pulled out a beaten laptop from under the TARDIS console, and opened the email browser.

1 Unread Message from: The Doctor

Hmm.

He clicked it open.

Coordinates to a Time and Place (In space!)

All Doctors! Alert alert!

"This must be urgent!" His eyes widened. "There's no other reason why I would cross my own timestream!"

"Yeah. Cheap Tricks, or Hilarious fan fictions."

The 12th doctor nearly screamed. He looked up, and Blurr poked his/her/its head out from a ceiling panel.

"'sup, Doc?" Blurr grinned and swooped down.

"It's not my birthday." he growled. "I checked and checked. It's still..." he counted quickly in his head. "248 days, 4 hours, 17 minutes, and 32 seconds until my next birthday."

Blurr waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. But I couldn't miss this! All 12 of my favorite buddy... well... on the top 10... 20... okay, 50 favorite. But all of you within 10 feet of each other! I've always wanted to see whether or not the universe exploded, or just blew up a hole the size of Belgium, or if you would start arguing about fashion statements, or 9 would start beating up 8 for no reason..."

The Doctor grabbed a brick and smacked Blurr on the head with it, just as he/she/it had instructed him to do if he started rambling.

Robert poked his head from a floor panel. "It's a fan fiction, Blurr. We all know that the universe won't blow up. And as desperate nerds on our computers at home, we do not question the fictional temporal physics of the whoniverse."

The Doctor rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry... a fan what?"

Milton lounged in a chair by the TARDIS console. "Don't you see that fourth wall?"

Blurr rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "This is going to be a marvelous adventure! There'll be arguments, and reconciliations, and monsters and- no Robert! Not the big red-"

Rob tripped and smacked his face on the button.

* * *

The police arrived to the site of the crash and found a smoking blue police box, an oddly dressed man, an oddly dressed yodeler, a cloaked person, a robot, a bear, and a green jaguar. Blurr was throwing up in a trash can, and the Doctor was taking his turn with the brick.

The Doctor looked up at the bewildered cops and dropped the brick. "This isn't what it looks like."

* * *

Blurr rubbed his forehead. A bruise was starting to form. Maybe even a callous.

"So this is why the 12th doctor never shows up to these multi-doctor fics."


	10. Death and a Broken Leg

**I'm going to try to steer the subject back to birthdays...**

**Oh well, maybe next chapter ;)**

* * *

The Doctor had gone back to Metabillis 3. Sarah Jane had told the Brigadier, and they set about worrying for him together.

Normally, Sarah Jane would be able to tell herself that he was going to be fine. After all, they had been in horrible situations like this before, and gotten out of it quite all right... but this time he had admitted that he was afraid. Assured her that he would, in fact, die.

And then he didn't come back.

The first few hours, she had sat about, tapping her feet, chewing her nails, waiting for the screeching of the TARDIS, and the materializing blue box.

Her dandy friend would be alright, and they would continue having adventures, gallivanting across time and space, coming home with still plenty of time for tea.

But he still didn't come back.

And then _he-she-it _showed up.

* * *

They had all been in the lab at the time: she, Brigadier, and Sergeant Benton.

Sergeant Benton was reporting that there was no report; more specifically, no report of or word from the Doctor.

Sarah Jane knew that she would soon have to face the facts; the Doctor wasn't coming back, that he had died in a cave of spiders.

Then the air shimmered; like some sort of invisible whirlpool, right above Sergeant Benton's head.

Sarah gasped, nearly screaming. Benton looked up and gaped, Brigadier reached for his gun. Then the portal spit out 3 figures: a green jaguar, a small white robot, and a brown cloaked humanoid, right on top of him.

Sergeant Benton wriggled his way out from under the pile. "Oh, you again!"

The Brown one sat up and rubbed his/her/its head. "Arrgh! That hurts like the dickens!" Sarah Jane startled at his whisper-voice.

The Brigadier maintained a professional expression. "Ah, Blurr, was it? And Robert and Milton. Nice to see you again." Oh, he wanted to hit something!

Blurr jumped up and saluted. "And a lovely pleasure to see you again, Brigadier!"

Sarah Jane gasped as the robot and the jaguar came to. The robot punched the jaguar in the shoulder. "You're not supposed to press the big red button."

The jaguar scowled, and Sarah Jane was surprised to find that she could hear its voice in her head. For a moment, she was worried that they had something to do with the spiders from Metabillis.

"Oh, don't you dare tell me that you wouldn't have done the same thing!"

Blurr sighed, crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Let's just be honest. Big Red Buttons are meant to be pushed, and we've all done it at some point or another." He/she/it immediately brightened again, and spun around to face Sarah Jane.

"Sarah Jane Smith! How lovely to see you again!" The Blurr made a sweeping bow.

Sarah Jane stumbled a step back, confused and flustered by their manic actions. "What do you mean? We've never met- who are you?"

Brigadier stepped forward. "Ah, yes. Now, Blurr, I know that you insist that time is relative, and that we can all communicate with thought alone, but some introductions are in order."

Sarah Jane nodded. "Quite right."

Milton stretched out on a nearby desk. "I'm Milton, the Cyclops over there is Robert-"

"Hey!"

"-and the Phantom of the Opera is Blurr."

"I take that as a compliment!" Blurr grinned. "So... where's the Doctor these days?"

He/she/it cocked his head, seeming to stare into Sarah Jane's soul. "Hmm. Sadness... pain... spiders. Oh, yipes! Spiders!"

Blurr jumped onto a desk, and flipped into a ventilation shaft in the ceiling. Milton hissed at 'spiders' and Rob shivered, following the Blurr.

Sarah moved so she was directly under the shaft. "What do you mean? Who are you? What do you know about the Doctor?"

Blurr poked a head out. "Aw, keep your trousers on! We're busy!"

As Blurr slowly retreated back into the shadows, he started muttering. "The nerve, running off to your death the day before your birthday!"

Sarah Jane turned to the Brigadier. "What do they mean?"

Brigadier sighed. "It seems that these... acquaintances of the Doctor show up every once in a while, usually on the Doctor's birthday."

"How did they know about the spiders?"

Sergeant Benton raised a finger. "Ah. The Doctor told me that the Blurr is a psychic."

Blurr popped his/her/its head out again. "Uh, yeah, no. I'm not." he retreated again.

Brigadier grabbed a pipe that was lying in the corner and used it to hit the ceiling a few times. "Erm, Blurr, just for future reference... how long are you and your friends planning on staying here?"

Milton answered this time. "Until the Doctor gets back."

"But- he might not be coming back!"

Blurr could be heard from within the shaft. "Ha! That sly little dandy thinks that dying will get him out of a birthday celebration!"

Sarah Jane realized the significance of what the Blurr said. "You mean- he's going to die?"

Rob poked his head out. "Yes. But only after he returns. Then he will die. Do you have some sort of small storage room we can use for the next few weeks? No electricity required."

Sarah Jane wanted to reach up and smack the little robot. He turned his head towards a nearby closet. "No assistance necessary. Proper facilities found."

He, Mil, and Blurr dropped to the ground, and headed for the closet. Blurr had a box in his/her/its hands.

"They're going to the closet, they're going on a trip! They're going to the closet to grab some stuff and split!" Mil sang. "That's my cousin." he said proudly and telepathically.

They locked the closet door behind them.

* * *

_1 week later..._

Brigadier rapped sharply on the closet door. "Blurr? Are you in there?"

They hadn't come out all week, only opening the door to accept meals.

The door cracked open, and 4 feet below him, Robert looked up. "Hello, Brigadier." the robot said pleasantly.

"What on earth are you doing in there?" he looked in the closet. It was a walk-in, about 6 square feet of space. Blurr and Mil sat on the ground, Blurr cross-legged, Mil sprawled. They were knitting.

Mil was somehow maneuvering his paws to accommodate the knitting needles. they were each knitting into some shapeless cotton article.

"What on earth are you doing?"

The two didn't look up. "Makin' something."

"What for?"

"A friend."

Patiently, the Brigadier continued his interrogation. "Is it anyone I know?"

"Probably not."

"Well, who is it?"

Blurr looked up and grinned an eerie smile. "We haven't exactly met him yet."

Brigadier groaned and walked out of the closet. If they didn't want to give answers, asking questions was pointless.

* * *

_2 weeks later..._

Blurr casually walked out of the closet and placed a jumprope on a table. He walked back into the closet and locked the door.

Sergeant Benton, who happened to see the action, was curious. "What's the jumprope for, Blurr?"

Blurr poked his/her/its head out. "For Dr. Sullivan."

* * *

_Later..._

"Well, we just have to face the facts." Sarah Jane remained rigid. "He's not coming back."

They turned to leave the dusty lab, when suddenly, they heard the engines of the TARDIS materializing.

Sarah Jane smiled as the dandy Doctor opened the door. "Got lost in the time vortex." he smiled sadly, and collapsed.

She gasped as Brigadier grabbed a pillow, and set it under his head.

She held his hand and started to cry. "Why? Why did you go?"

"I had to face my fear." He reached up to her face. "A tear, Sarah Jane?" he chuckled.

"Please..." the tears trickled down her face. "Don't die."

The Doctor couldn't breathe. "Don't worry. While there's life..."

The Doctor died.

* * *

_After some friendly words of advice from the Doctor's Time Lord friend..._

"Look, Brigadier! I think it's started!" She said excitedly.

The gray hair changed into wild, dark brown curls, and his nose grew. His new eyes were large, and as he sat up and started babbling, ("If the square of the triangle's axes equal the square of the hypoteneuse, then why does a mouse spin on its head? I never did figure that one out.") she notice his large, crooked teeth.

After Brigadier called Dr. Sullivan and had him wheeled off to the infirmary, Blurr, Robert and Milton tumbled out of the closet, a box in hand.

Blurr saw the TARDIS, and looked around expectantly. He dropped the box and crossed his arms. "Aww, did we miss the regeneration?"

Sarah Jane's eyes widened. "You knew! You knew this was going to happen!"

Rob shrugged. "Maybe a little."

Sarah Jane walked over to the closet and poked her head in, finding clumps of yarn lying around.

"What on earth did you do with all that yarn? Knit a sweater?!"

Blurr scoffed. "No. Of course not! It was a scarf."

Brigadier raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that the Doctor's collection of yarn? But there must've been at least a hundred of those spools!"

Blurr nodded easily. "Yep. 382 spools, to be exact."

"And you knitted scarves with them?"

"No. One scarf."

"Whatever for?"

"Why one long scarf, or why a scarf at all? The scarf is for a friend. We made it super long for the usefulness of long scarves. If one were, say, hanging by scarf on a radio telescope, hypothetically, then twenty feet of knitted wool could mean the difference between death and a broken leg! Curious, though. I never knew the Doctor like yarn so much."

Brigadier shifted. "You gave him that yarn. On various birthdays."

Blurr looked surprised. "Did I? Oh, must have. Ah well, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey..."

"What on earth does that mean?" Sarah Jane sighed.

The trio snickered. "Inside joke."


	11. Wildcat's Paradox

**I would just like to clear up something I said a few chapters back; I DO NOT hate the 11th doctor, or Matt Smith. I know I said so specifically those few chapters back, but I was in the middle of a rant, and I say crazy things. **

**My reasoning: In the end, the Hunger Games, Twilight, the 10th and 11th Doctor, and Percybeth are fairly decent, maybe even awesome! But they are wildly overused in Twitter, Facebook, and Fanfiction. I keep getting lame fanfictions written by sugar induced teenage fangirls that wildly distort the decent fandom/character/pairing. Slowly, over time, I begin to hate it. So when I get into rants, this 'hate' stuff comes out. Please forgive me, and no flames.**

**On a side note, this is also part of the reason why Colin Baker is my favorite Doctor; because everyone hates him.**

**In honor of the 50th anniversary: a trip through all 11(12) doctors. Just saw the Christmas special. A few notes:**

**That was the smoothest regeneration I've ever seen. Don't you think so? We can now say that three of the Doctors have naturally regenerated... But I thought it was a tad more poetic that it was only the first and war doctor that naturally regenerated. I wanted to see 11 shot by a Dalek or something awesome.**

**Quick note: This is NOT Blurr! For those of you familiar with my other Blurr stories (spoiler: I'm about to wrap up "Blurr Rising" and move onto "Blurred Lines." ) **

**Let's give a warm welcome to Wildcat!**

* * *

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

_BANG BANG BANG BANG_

_CLAM CLAM CLAM CLAM_

_BAM BAM BAM BAM_

"What, what! What is that infernal racket?!"

The elderly doctor opened the doors to the TARDIS. A young woman, who had been about to bang on the blue door, fell in through the doors past him.

"What, what is this?" He scowled at the young lady. She was dressed in a brown leather jacket, a scarf, khakis, and an aviator's hat. She had a purple gash across her left eye, and wild red hair poking from underneath her hat.

She leaped to her feet and shook the aged man's hand warmly. "How goes it, Doc? Listen, I've got a friend of a friend of a distant cousin who needs me to ask you to do something for him. Tell me, does your screwdriver do calculations?"

* * *

"Ye now, Doctor, couldn't we hev gone someples where we DON'T get shot at by Daleks?" Jamie panted

_EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!_

The second doctor slid around the corner, Zoe and Jamie at his heels. "Now, Jamie, I did give you and Zoe that nice time in the Caribbean, didn't I- Oh, my giddy aunt!" He u-turned as two more Daleks turned the corner and started firing at them.

"Yes, but we got kidnapped by pirates right after." Zoe reminded him as they ducked in a closet.

They all gasped for air, trying to make as little noise as possible.

"Doctor?" Jamie whispered.

"Yes, Jamie?"

"Why do the Daleks have a closet on their spaceship?"

"I'll... explain later."

"Oh, did you see that thing with Rowan Atkinson, too?" A new voice, female with a slight Brooklyn accent joined the conversation.

Three pairs of eyes traveled up to the shelf, where the young woman crouched.

"Hi."

Jamie yelled a battle cry and drew his knife, but Wildcat flipped over him and landed on the opposite shelf.

The Doctor held the young highlander back, but he accidentally made a sweep across her arm- or rather through her arm.

He froze in the middle of his hasty apology and dropped the knife. The woman flickered, transparent.

"Ghost..." he whispered, shivering.

She tapped her nose. "Spot on, first try! Gold Star to the laddie, here!"

The Doctor fidgeted with his hands and peeked out the door. "Wildcat, I must say that this isn't a good time. We're sort of in the middle of something- oh, crumpets!" They backed away from the door as a dalek guard passed by the door.

"Yeah, yeah. I just need to make sure that you still have that thing on..." she snatched his sonic screwdriver from him before he could protest, and pushed a few buttons.

"Hmm... yep. Everything seems to be in order."

"You can actually read that?" The Doctor exclaimed.

"Nah, not really. My distant cousin's friend's friend just said to push this or that button... oh, by the way, I have a few coordinates you should head to at some point in this regeneration..."

* * *

The slightly transparent young woman was poking at filing cabinets curiously, like she'd never seen a filing cabinet before. She poked her head through windows and doors, surprising many people. She passed by the Brigadier's office, who was doing paperwork.

"One floor down, third door on the right." he said without even looking up. He had gotten used to dealing with the Doctor's friends.

Wildcat went one floor down, and to the third door on the right.

The dandy Doctor was working on an experiment, graduated cylinders held directly over a beaker. Jo sat in a nearby chair, bored. But she didn't say anything. The Doctor insisted on absolute silence for this experiment; he needed to concentrate.

They were both oblivious when Wildcat walked in.

"Whatcha workin' on?" she whispered right over his shoulder.

He yelped in surprise and dropped the cylinders into the beaker, which made a small mushroom cloud. He stood up indignantly. "Wildcat, of all the times- wait, is this distant cousin of yours Blurr?"

She laughed. "Don't be ridiculous! Anywho, how's that calculation comin'?"

* * *

The fourth doctor ran through the woods at top speed, Sarah Jane at his heels.

"Doctor!" She panted. We can't keep this up much longer.

"Come now, Sarah Jane!" the bohemian gasped. "We can't stop, now can we?"

The Sontaran laser bursts bounced over their shoulders and between their legs.

The trees got thicker and thicker, and the branches began to scratch at their faces and arms. Finally, a pokey branch grabbed the doctor's extremely long scarf. He started choking.

Suddenly, the scarf was released. He wildly spun around and saw a ghostly looking panther with a scar over its eye sitting in the branch, a claw raised over the branch that had caught his scarf. The panther cocked its head questioningly.

The fourth doctor scowled. "Yes, Wildcat, the calculation is still running. And no, it's not finished!"

Sarah Jane laughed. "Doctor why on earth-"

"Am I talking to a panther?" he finished.

"Yes. I mean, it's rather silly, don't you think?"

"Why, Sarah Jane! It's not just any panther. It's a ghost panther!"

The cat leaped through the trees, a girlish laugh echoing on the wind.

* * *

The fifth doctor opened the door, and his eyes widened in horror.

Before Wildcat could say a word, he hastily said, "Yes, it's still calculating."

He shut the door and immediately entered coordinates for the farthest planet possible.

* * *

"Doctor?"

The sixth doctor sighed exasperatedly. "Yes, Mel?"

"Is the TARDIS haunted?"

He laughed haughtily. "Mel! The TARDIS is dimensionally transcendent, completely outside of relative time, and makes a fine breakfast, but it is not haunted!"

"Well, you see, I saw a ghost-"

"Oh, is that the source of that horrible noise a few hours ago? Your terrified screams?"

"Yes. First there were noises, like a large cat, and then I saw the ghost-"

He looked up quickly, face reddening. "Female, purple scar over the eye, American accent?"

The ginger nodded quickly. "Yes, exactly! How did you know?"

He groaned and rested his head in his hand. "What did Wildcat say?"

"Is that her na-"

"What did she say?"

"She asked how the calculation was coming."

* * *

Wildcat and Ace got along swimmingly, let's leave it at that.

* * *

The eighth doctor had, wouldn't you know it, lost his memory. Again.

So he had no idea what the heck was up with the strange ghostly woman who asked him about the calculations.

* * *

The War Doctor shook his head tiredly. "You've got the wrong guy, Wildcat. I'm not the Doc-" he was interrupted by a slap in the face.

"Stow that talk, soldier! Now is that calculation still running, or not? 'Cause I know you still have your fancy-pants screwdriver! If that doesn't make you the Doctor, I don't know what does!"

* * *

Rose opened the TARDIS doors to a strange woman in aviator's wear, and a scar over her eye.

The woman waved cheerfully. "Hi! You must be Rose. Is the Doctor around?"

She immediately opened the door a little wider for the woman to come in. She made it a rule to only let in people who were friendly and casual when referring to the Doctor.

"Doctor, there's someone here to see you!"

The Ninth Doctor pulled himself out from under the TARDIS console, wrench in hand. "Oh, how nice. A visitor. Who is it? The Brigadier? Blurr?" He stood up, and his face darkened. He pointed his wrench at the ghostly visitor. "You." he growled.

"Hi!" she beamed.

"Be gone, foul demon!" was rendered comical by his Northern accent.

She doubled over with laughter. "Oh, this is the BEST ERRAND EVER!"

* * *

The tenth doctor was woken from a light snooze by the terrifying shouts of Donna Noble.

He grabbed his suit jacket, and ran down the TARDIS halls.

Donna was pointing at a ventilation shaft, screaming obscenities.

She finally wheeled on the Doctor. "Oi, Spaceman! Forgot to mention the ghosts, eh?"

A cheerful voice sounded from the vent shaft. "Where do you get these girls, Doc? She's worse than that Mel lady!"

* * *

"Last stop of the day!"

A ghost dropped from a ventilation shaft in the TARDIS, only to be met with a ginger with a cricket bat and a fellow with a Roman Gladius.

"No trouble, 'kay? 'Cause I have to be at a thing in-" Wildcat checked an imaginary watch. "An hour. So I'd like to get this wrapped up quickly."

"Doctor!" Amy yelled.

"Yes, yes, what is it, Ponds? Did you break something? Did you find my fez? Rory, why do you have your sword? Oh, ho, Pond! You know how to use that bat..." He looked around the room, oblivious to the ghost.

Amy wrapped on his head and pointed at Wildcat. "There's a ghost."

"Why, yes. Yes there is. Wildcat, how are you!" He held his arms open welcomingly.

Wildcat laughed and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Same old, same old, lil' Doc! Or is it old Doc? Dang, these regenerations are confusing!"

There was silence for a few moments, and then the Doctor clapped his hands together, remembering. "Oh, yes! The calculations... they are still running, and they will be done in... a few centuries!"

"Excellent!" she beamed. "And do you still have the coordinates?"

"Yes..." he scratched his head. "Funny thing, though... I remember heading for the coordinates in every one of my regenerations, but never actually arriving... wonder if anything interesting happened."

* * *

The twelfth doctor shook Wildcat's hand gratefully.

"Thank you so much, Wildcat. I really needed to get that paradox taken care of..."

* * *

**Was anyone else wondering how they got that ultimate calculation going through all the Doctors?**


	12. Next of Kin

**I have officially completed a story!**

**PM me if you want to see more from Wildcat, I'm growing rather fond of her.**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OC's, you know which ones.**

* * *

_An Excerpt from the Invisible Enemy_

The Fourth Doctor was hospitalized with the unknown disease, and Leela was listed as the next of kin.

However, the nurse on duty noticed several other people on that same list, and attempted to contact them.

Susan Foreman picked up the phone, but said it would be a while before she could see her grandfather, because it took a while to travel from Earth. That man, a grandfather? He couldn't be more than 40! And a granddaughter on Earth, no less. My, aren't we the traveler.

Ian and Barbara Chesterton were crossed off by the nurse after several attempts at dialing the Earth number, and still receiving no answer.

The young woman listed only as "Vicki" was also removed, with only the note "Cressida" as reference, but upon investigation, the nurse found that a young woman by that name had gone missing along with the rest of the crew of a transport a few decades ago. Curiouser and curiouser, as the ancient poets said.

Steven Taylor picked up the phone and said he was busy with some government activity, but he would be there as soon as he could. Gee, this Doctor fellow had some friends in high places.

A young woman listed as "Katarina" was also on the list, but had been hastily scribbled out, along with "Sara Kingdom."

Dodo Chaplet did not pick up her phone, either.

Ben and Polly Jackson did not pick up their phone, but a young man by the name of Jamie, who claimed to be their great-grandson, did. He scoffed at her and said the Doctor was just a fairy tale his parents told him.

The nurse puzzled at the next name on the list, "Jamie McCrimmon," because there was no record of him- wait, it says here that he lived to the ripe-old age of 85, and died in the 1800's? Why on earth did this Doctor fellow have an ancient Scottish Highlander listed as a next-of-kin?

"Victoria Waterfield" was lower on the list, along with the note not to call her unless no one else would pick up. Apparently, she didn't really want to see him.

Starship commander Zoe Heriot picked up her phone, (finally!) but said she had no idea why on earth the Doctor would list her as a next of kin. After all, she had only met him once, and- would you please excuse me, I have a dreadful headache, and besides, I'm two whole galaxies away...

Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart was long since deceased, but a descendent, Commander Jonathan Stewart of the Galactic Federation, answered, and spoke glowingly of the Doctor, almost like some sort of mythical legend... but sadly, his squad was under heavy fire from the Sontarans, and he wouldn't be able to help. Onto the next one...

Liz Shaw was a noted Earth Scientist, responsible for several breakthroughs in space travel, but deceased, along with Jo Grant and Sarah Jane Smith.

Lt. Harry Sullivan, according to the databanks, was a physician on old Earth who helped develop vaccines for third world countries, but was also long since deceased.

And then, wedged right between "Sara Kingdom" and "Victoria Waterfield," was one very unusual name:

Blurr.

The Nurse hesitantly dialed the complicated phone number. Someone thankfully picked up, but the voice was that of a robot.

"Hello. This is IPB station number AE356MH. This R837T speaking. How may I help you?"

The nurse blinked, tapping her pen. "Is there a 'Blurr' there? You see, I'm calling from the Traken Memorial Medical Center, and I have a patient here, going by the name of 'The Doctor.'"

"Oh, yes. Of Course. Just a second."

There was a pause on the other end. Then, a bit muffled,

"Blurr, it's for you!"

"Silence, Young Robert. I'm reversing the polarity of a-"

"It's Traken Memorial Medical Center."

"Which Dimension?"

"I'll ask."

The Robot started talking to the nurse again. "Which dimension are you calling from?"

She blinked. "The one I live in."

"The one she lives in."

The person the robot was talking to sighed audibly and accepted the phone. "Yes? This is Blurr."

The nurse was startled by the whispery voice of this contact. "Erm, yes, of course... We have recently admitted a patient by the name of 'The Doctor,' and-"

"Oh sweet cheese n' sprinkles, we'll be right there!"

"Wait. We?"

They hung up.

The nurse started biting at a hangnail nervously as she placed the phone back in its cradle. What a nightmare today had been! First this new contagion, and now-

She shrieked as an orange-colored portal materialized in the wall right behind her. The portal dumped out a green jaguar, a small robot, and a brown cloaked figure. The robot held a bouquet of pink posies.

The brown cloaked one walked up to the front desk. "We're here to see the Doctor?"

The nurse shook. "You're Blurr?"

Exasperated, he/she/it nodded. You really couldn't tell, what with the mask, cloak and voice.

He/she/it tapped a finger on the desk. "Just out of curiosity- I was listed as a next of kin, right? He didn't ask for me specifically..."

The nurse carefully nodded.

"How many others were on the list?"

Hesitantly, not wanting to argue with the rather intimidating figure, she handed him/her/it the list of contacts.

Blurr skimmed through the names. He/she/it guffawed. "We're below Katarina? Seriously? Below her?"

He turned to his companions. "How does he expect Jamie McCrimmon to respond to one of these hospital emergencies? He's a Highlander, for crying out loud!"

He slung his bo staff over his shoulder and expertly navigated the corridors to the Doctor's room. Leela stood up at the strange sight and drew her knife.

Blurr held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "We're friends, see? Our names are on the list- well, seventeen down..."

Blurr ignored her and pushed through the doors, rather annoyed.

"Well, what do you call this?" he said rather loudly. "Number Seventeen? Seventeen. I can't wait to see what this list looks like in a few centuries! I mean, seriously, we're below Katarina? AND Sara Kingdom? Really Doc? Really?"

Professor Marius looked up in shock while the Doctor remained unconscious. "You are the next of kin?"

Blurr sighed. "Where's the clone?"

Surprised, the professor found himself pointing down the hallway. Blurr walked out.

Rob and Mil were panting, having just caught up with Blurr. Blurr pointed back at K9 and Leela.

"Rob, Mil, stay with them. I'm sure you'll all get along just fine."

* * *

**Absolutely the most adorable image, Robert and K-9. Adorable!**


	13. Blind

Having accidentally splashed acid on his/her/its face, Blurr was temporarily blinded, (and just in time for the Doc's birthday.)

Milton was still at his family reunion, and let me tell you, those take at least two weeks.

And so, the Blurr and young Robert somehow managed to scrap together a vanilla cake with blue frosting, (it looked nothing like a cake,) and create a dimensional portal to a distant planet where the Doctor was supposed to be.

Rob carried the cake, and Blurr felt his/her/its way along the metal hallway in search of the Doctor. Finally, nose twitching, Blurr asked, "Do you smell that?"

Rob cocked his head. "My sensors indicate the presence of Huon energy."

Blurr snapped his finger happily. "That means we're close!"

Finally, the Blurr's hand fell through as the hallway opened up into a large, domed room. Blurr sensed several life forms. He/she/it started singing.

"For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow..." There was a whirr of machinery.

Rob cocked his head. "The Doctor sure looks different."

"He regenerated, Rob. That's all." he/she/it muttered. "Hey, Doc! I get that you might be in the middle of something, but that's no reason to pass up a good celebration!"

There was no response. "Aw, c'mon, Doc! Don't be like that! Is this about that time with the vapor demons? Or was it the Silurians? But that is no way to treat an old friend!"

Still no response.

Blurr sighed and rolled his blinded eyes. "Fine! I don't think you really deserve this, but I got you a present!" Blurr tossed them a sloppily wrapped package.

"We cannot open this."

Blurr paused. "What do you mean? You have hands."

"Incorrect. The Daleks do not have hands."

Blurr coughed. "Robert, next week, I need to educate you in the various menaces to society." Slowly, the pair started backing away from the Daleks.

"You are an inferior life form. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" A bolt hit the not-cake, which promptly exploded in a fiery inferno. Blurr and Rob ran at top speed, albeit with slow progress, as Blurr kept running into walls, before they were able to find another dimensional rift.

Minutes later, the seventh doctor arrived on the scene in his TARDIS. "Well, this is a pleasant place. Look at those ruins, lovely!" The Dalek army emerged, covered in cake.

"THE DOC-TOR! HE INSULTS THE DA-LEKS WITH TERRIBLE CAKE AND A PIECE OF STRING! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

The Scottish doctor hastily ducked back into the TARDIS as a volley of bolts started flashing. A piece of string, the kind you tie around your finger, and a cake's worth of blue batter splashed through the door.

The Doctor took of his panama hat and wiped the perspiration from his brow. "Oh, my! It seems that the very best laid plans of lice and men often go to town. Especially when the Blurr's involved."


	14. Nightmares

**Acid burns and daleks, what fun! To the next chappie: An analysis of the average OC in who-verse.**

* * *

Blurr woke up in the basement of Henricks, alongside a 16 year old girl she had never seen before. She had dyed blonde hair, was as skinny as a coat hanger, and wore way too much make-up. She had a pink tank-top, jeans, and flip-flops.

Blurr sat up groggily. "Who the heck are you?" he/she/it glared at the girl. She stood up calmly. "I'm Mary-Sue. I have luscious honey blonde hair, eyes the exact color of sapphires, and a flawless figure and complexion. I am not going to question the fact that I was in my room three seconds ago watching an episode of Doctor Who, when I made a wish upon a star, and I ended up here. In fact, I will just go with it."

Blurr just blinked. "You do realize where you are, right?"

She nodded. "I do not recognize this place at all, even though I am supposedly the biggest whovian on earth and have seen every episode twenty times."

Blurr nodded slowly. "Okay... just checking."

The store mannequins around them started moving. "And, let me guess, you're going to run straight for the Doctor, because you know he's just around the corner..."

Instead, the girl followed Rose, cowering and quivering the hole way, and punched her in the face to get into the wee space between her and the Doctor so she could be the one who grabbed his hand.

Blurr sighed, smacking the Autons aside with his/her/its staff, and running after them. He/she/it dragged an unconscious Rose behind her just to keep the story line going. After all, this place would be blowing up soon. Miss Mary-Sue was apparently a master athlete, and was running just as fast as the Doctor.

Blurr dove inside the elevator, stomping on top of the arm. "Hiya, Doc!"

"You!" The ninth Doctor glared at the Blurr.

"Yes, me." Blurr nodded. "Care to explain what's going on here? I was just with your fifth self a few moments ago, and the next thing I know, I'm here. That's unusual even in my book."

Mary Sue remained motionless, like some sort of extra in a Disney Channel movie. Not to do anything unless called upon.

"Hey, uh... whose the chick?" Blurr whispered, nodding at Mary Sue.

The ninth doctor just looked at him. "Who the heck are you? Because as the Doctor in a fanfiction, I have far less brains than the average bear, could fall in love with a lamppost, and have no imagination."

Blurr slowly backed away from the two. Mary Sue smiled eerily. "I'm going to say everything Rose said, because I can only remember things irrelevant to the storyline from the episode, and I have no imagination. What was that thing?"

Blurr banged his/her/its head against the elevator wall. "It's an Auton. You should know that. Any half-wit whovian should know that."

The elevator doors opened up and Blurr hopped out. "But the Doctor will take care of that with the make-your-own-bomb kit I got him for his birthday! Right, Doc?"

The Doctor nodded. "What was your name again?"

"Mary-Sue."

"Nice to meet you, Mary-Sue. Now run for your life!"

Blurr rolled his/her/its eyes, still carrying Rose. "Better get this one home."

He dragged the unconscious girl out of the alley and across the street without any complaints from pedestrians. Mary-Sue followed obediently after her.

Blurr glared at a fat person with a rather obvious zipper on their forehead. "Do you have any common sense at all?" he asked Mary-Sue.

She smiled. "As the main focus of this story, I am destined to fall in love with him. I know everything about him. I can save his life with my knowledge." She leaned in a little closer. "I even know his secret name!"

Blurr kept a straight face. "No you don't. And everything? Seriously? In that case, do you know who I am?"

Mary Sue frowned. "No. You're not the Doctor. I don't know anything about you."

Blurr groaned. "What did I eat for breakfast to deserve this?"

It took Blurr an hour to find Rose's flat just based on the address written on the inside of her hoodie. The whole way, Mary-Sue blabbered on about how attractive the Doctor was, and how many kids they would have, and would she meet Jack Harkness and the Master, and how much she knew about the show, and how brilliant she was, never once mentioning how odd it was that she should end up in this universe.

Blurr wanted to throw up.

As soon as Rose was home safely, and for some reason Jackie let Mary-Sue, a complete stranger, stay at their flat, Blurr bolted for the TARDIS he noticed while he was dragging Rose across the sidewalk.

"Alright, explain. Now." he/she/it demanded.

The 9th doctor raised an eyebrow. "I am not going to question how you know so much about me even though we have just met."

Blurr screamed into a pillow the writer, Inspi, had produced, because she really did not want to have to deal with the noise.

"Come ON Chrissy! It's me! Blurr? I've been hosting your birthday parties for over a thousand years? Well, over a thousand for you, at least..."

"I have birthday parties?"

"Give it up, Doc. Everyone knows you lie about your age."

* * *

"I am going to stand here like a brick and do nothing, but the Doctor will still value me as a true companion." Mary-Sue said calmly as the Autons grabbed the Doctor.

Blurr leaned against the fence and sighed. "Story of my life." He/she/it pulled out a nasty looking gun and shot the Autons in the head.

Mary-Sue grabbed the gun away from Blurr and tried to look poised and sophisticated, or, at least, as poised and sophisticated as one could be with a smoking gun in one's hand.

The Doctor blinked. "Did you shoot them?"

Shyly, she nodded.

He smiled. "Brilliant! I am going to ignore the fact that I find guns absolutely distasteful, blah blah blah blah blah..."

Mary-Sue also smiled. "I'm going to ignore the fact that I let several people in the shopping mall a few miles away get shot by mannequins, because I completely forgot anything relevant to the plot from the episode..."

Blurr banged his head against the wall. It was much more comfortable than listening to this girl.

* * *

Finally, after tagging along with them for a whole season, and finding that she didn't recognize David Tennant when she saw him, Blurr had enough.

Seething, he pushed the Doctor out of the TARDIS, and, Mary-Sue complaining, piloted the ship to UNIT headquarters, January of 1973.

The cloaked fellow lifted the bottle blonde out of the TARDIS by the scruff of her neck, and waved her around the room to a surprised Jo Grant, Second Doctor, Third Doctor, and Brigadier.

"All right now, miss. You say you're the biggest whovian on earth? You know everything about the Doc?"

She nodded flatly. "Of course. I've seen-"

"Every episode a million times, yet you don't remember a single second of it, except for the fact that the Doctor likes bananas. I get that. Well, in that case, who is that?"

Blurr pointed at the Brigadier.

"A soldier. But the Doctor never works with soldiers!"

Blurr pointed at Jo. "A girl. But she's not very pretty. The Doctor only travels with-"

Blurr pointed at the second doctor before she could finish that sentence. "That looks like a scruffy little hobo. I don't like him. Where's the Doctor?"

The Third doctor laughed. "She's got you there, you little-"

The short second doctor got up on the table and smacked his future self in the head with his recorder. "Not another word out of you, you frilly dandy!"

Mary-Sue wrinkled her nose. "And that's an old man!"

Both Doctors turned on her, eyebrows raised. "Excuse me?" They said simultaneously. "We're only in our 6,000's!"

Blurr smirked. "You have my permission to string her up by her thumbs."

* * *

Blurr woke up with a scream. The fifth doctor and Turlough helped him/her/it up. "Are you all right? You sure hit your head on that cricket ball pretty hard?"

Blurr glared at the Doctor. "I'm not the one that threw it at my face." He rubbed his aching head. "I just had the worst nightmare!" he/she/it pointed at the Doctor. "You were there." he pointed at the Brigadier. "And you were there." He pointed at Mary-Sue. "And you were- AAAAIIIIEEEE!" Blurr incinerated her with a scrapped Dalek gun. Blurr moaned. "I've got to stop reading fanfiction."

* * *

**I'd say about 99% of the OC's, not just in Dr. Who, but in all of FF, are female, wouldn't you?**


End file.
